Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
