quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
