I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
