is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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