i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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