Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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