We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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