I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
