I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
