I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
