FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
