ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
