billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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