I'm lost and stupid without you.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
