Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
