Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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