We need to rekindle our bromance
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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