after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
