like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think I have vodka in my lungs
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
