i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize