i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
