I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
