Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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