I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
