he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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