Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
