I got chris browned last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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