theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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