Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
