Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
