You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
