oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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