I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
That accounts for only three of the penises
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
