I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
