someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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