But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
