I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
