You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize