So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
