You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
