Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
