what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your topless pictures make me question reality
50% drunk capacity currently
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
