Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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