You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
