My room smells like vodka and shame
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
