Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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