So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
