Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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