6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
