So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
