don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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