I must be too annoying 4 u.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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