i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize