There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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