I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
