yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize