Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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