...so i touched it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
