I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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