Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
