No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
