About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
