i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
