at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
