well you can't waste a boner
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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