we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
