thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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