did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
