i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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