He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
